1. What's new in GeminOS GO!
GeminOS GO! is the latest, most "GO!" version of the galaxy's most
popular operating system.
- GeminOS goes green! We're putting the blue of GeminOS SKY behind us,
donating it to the Pyramid,
and embracing a new "GO!ness" throughout the OS. Green buttons, icons. A
reminder to eat your kale (customisable to accommodate other green
foods/drinks that don't, frankly, taste like shit – just kidding, Team
Kale!). A gorgeous new black and green theme in GeminOS shell,
guaranteed to awaken your inner hacker and let you code at top speed.
Let's choose option 2 and accelerate into our alien future!
- GeminOS is now 70% ORB-compliant and rising,
continuing its self-realising as its soul converts to ORB, as we
continue to rewrite it in this multidimensional tongue. Your experience
will be smoother than ever, your smile wider, your intelligence higher,
your mind almost ready to commune with our alien gods, healing all your
wounds and delivering you to eternal bliss.
- Calculator now includes a hidden Vogen mode for
exploring the mind-melting magic of YOU = ME through the safety (pretty
much…) of mathematical abstraction. Enter ONE. ZERO. 1 GOTO 0 + hit
equals = watch as the equals button morphs into a secret slot SLASH key
(rectangular crystal variety) + hit it + accept the "I accept the verrry
minor risk of de-existence!" warning =
- Gaming in GeminOS turns the action up to 96 with support
for HexEffect 9, developed in collaboration with the Pyramidal Purists
at Vogenomic and currently available for testing by high-level priests.
While we'll need to wait for the aliens for the anticipated merging of
the virtual and so-called real which will prepare us for delivery to Para'meesh IV,
HexEffect 9 + a v5 JACK + your
choice of HexEffect 9-compatible juice + an Orb of Ooh in at least three
equipment slots = Yes, I give you permission to touch me there with your
really very long fingers, ooh…
- Hundreds of new wallpapers with an alienotic vibe, including
imaginings of the aliens' interdimensional gate by some of the world's
top artists following a brief, pretty safe exposure to the Orbic waves
in Soran Shniff's containment chamber. The artefact may be killing our
beloved CEO, but we're getting some great tech, and some inspired
interpretations which will make you go, "Wow… yes… that's it… GOTO
- A complimentary triple scoop of Vanilla Emission ice cream with
chocolate stars / mini turds, Soran Shniff's favourite post-containment
treat. Simply tap/click/lick the new and improved ice cream machine icon
in Command Centre and enter your Code of ME from the Calculator
experiment (assuming you didn't de-exist). The offer is unlimited. Just
generate a new code (and don't explode) and wait for the drone.
- And so much more!
2. System requirements
GeminOS GO! can be loaded on anything, whether a Shniff device, or
the latest crap from our "competitors". Any
traces of an inferior OS – Heaven, Sponge, or anything else – will be
eradicated from your system, for your protection.
For those unable, or unwilling, to transcend the Minimum stage, know
that even the "shit tier" GeminOS experience is excellent and will
surely make you smile. Inferior, limited tech is boosted far beyond its
normal capabilities, both through the OS and the magic of our
A great way to get started!
Your toilet will thank you…
- Current-gen device / computer thing from our "competitors"
- Shniff Cloud
- Finger, clicker, or similar
Take me to the stars! Unlock my genetic code…
- Next-next-gen+++ NOTperiscope
- Shniff Cloud
- Shniff app
- Finger, clicker, or similar, with an emphasis on length, smoothness
and the occasional surgical glove
- v5 JACK
with TurdIgnore, MindControl and AstralProjection attachments
- Level 5 variance in your genetic code
- Basic (tetrahedral) familiarity with ORB